God Speaks

Why couldn't I have just stayed a "happy Baptist", teaching an adult Sunday school class and not always be nosing around, having to learn new things?  Well the answer to that is obvious and so,  now, almost twenty years removed from those "Baptist days" here is where I find myself:

I am a member of a Presbyterian Church where I have the privilege and blessing to minister in the music program.  However, I feel myself drawn in other directions....again.  I have been visiting a local Anglican parish and their mid-week book study for a month.  I am loving it and believe, at this point, that is where I will find myself in the coming months, if not weeks, if they will have me.  There is also this strange fascination with the Christian Orthodox Church through the Internet as I listen to their wonderful acapella hymns and chants and even most of the teaching sounds "straight", but I wouldn't want to get involved with something far out like the Orthodox Church, right?  Besides, the nearest parish is 36 miles away in a neighboring county.

God's will.....we as Christians want to "do" God's will.  Is it God's will that I have moved through many different churches during my Christian walk?  As I have said in the past, there is this constant "restlessness" that drives me.  Is it of God, or me?....that's the $64,000 question.  I heard John MacArthur once say that if we are following and serving the Lord to the best of our knowledge and ability, then God's will should be whatever it is we want to do.  Ok, let's go with that theory for a moment.  I am definitely in a better spiritual state than I have been for the past several years (that's not saying a lot, you understand).

  So, what do I "want" right now?  I want to be in full time Christian ministry.  I don't want to sell auto parts.

Ok, then where does a person begin?  I will be 58 years old a week from today.  I still have a mortgage.  Some would say the situation is impossible.  Some would say "It's too late, give it up."

Now there is one problem with that attitude:  I believe God has stepped in and "spoken".  No, I did not hear an audible voice.  However, twice during prayer over the past few weeks I have experienced something extraordinary.  A few weeks ago a "thought" invaded my morning prayer saying "go to school", or "it's alright to return to school".  Please understand this isn't "normal" for me.  I know when my mind is wandering during prayer, and this wasn't that.  I am going with the idea it was the Lord speaking.  A similar situation occurred just this week as, once again during morning prayer, I "heard":  "Do what you want to do."

That is where I am right now, at this point of my existence on this planet....6:00AM, Sunday morning,  December 11, 2011.  

All I know to do at this moment is to ask you to please pray for me.