Restlessness Continues

It seems like I stay on a continuing quest. Every time I think that I have "arrived" in a particular area of my life, something else pops up. I have been a Christian for over thirty years and have been through many different ministries and churches. Four years ago I began my involvement with reformed theology. This approach to the Word of God has opened my eyes in many ways and answered a lot of questions I have asked during my walk with the Lord. I am finally in a church where I am able to sit under good expository Bible teaching. This has been a goal of mine for many years. So, why do I have this restless feeling? That may be part of my problem...feelings. They can get you in trouble sometimes.

I am a part of a wonderful, but small church in my community, which, after ten years of existence still seems to be struggling more than maybe it should at this stage. One thing working against growth (but is not an excuse) is the fact that almost half the congregation "commutes" from other areas of the state. Practically the majority of our church family is only able to congregate once a week. In recent weeks we have lost some of our long-time members due to the distance factor. I wonder if this small group of believers will maintain a presence in the long run. We rent a building and are stretched for workers in the various ministries. I know I should and do trust God with this situation, but I also find my attitudes changing at this point in my life.

Of course, there are other reasons for my "restlessness" and I'm sure it comes under the heading of selfishness and at the very least, my own eccentricity. I have investigated the area for other churches in the case something would occur that would cause the necessity of a move. As I age into my retirement years, I find myself yearning to worship in a "real" church building and worship in a more traditional and formal way. I know some of this is not very sound logic, but it is how I "feel". I find myself wanting to return to the singing of traditional hymns. I seem to feel closer to God and experience the Spirit with more classical type music. This is problematic, considering I am the bass guitar player in our church's praise and worship band.

One thing I have learned over the past few years is that there are plenty of true Christians in other denominations and churches, and there are many more "solid" denominations than I ever thought existed. At one time I believed all Presbyterians were liberal theologically and apostate. Now, I am one! Recently I have been investigating the Anglican church. Why? First I found out, like the Presbyterians and other groups, that many concerned and true believers have split from their liberal churches and groups of churches and started new, conservative denominations, or groups. Two of these "groups" are the Anglican Church in North America and the Anglican Province of America. Two Anglican churches, one from each of these groups have been planted in my community, and from what I understand so far, they are growing ministries. From my experience, growth is unlikely in a dead, liberal church. I believe these new churches hold to the basic, "non-negotiables" of the Christian faith. These basic beliefs would include, but not be limited to Christ's atoning sacrifice for sin as the only means of salvation, the virgin birth, and the Trinity. I put out some feelers, seeking information from these two local churches, but as of this writing I am quite disappointed with the response, or lack thereof to my emails. I still may visit each one of these churches at least once as the opportunity presents itself. I pray the Lord will reveal to me whether this new direction is His will or mine.

I may be restless, but I do not want to make a wrong move!